


secrets

by nooneleftilove



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, also like tw theres mentions of blood, also most of the characters are mentioned in passing, d slur yikes, im in love, im so soft for gretchen, it was just janis and regina that were friends but oh well, slightly canon divergent bc all of them are friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-13 10:20:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15362379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nooneleftilove/pseuds/nooneleftilove
Summary: prompt:"I always carry bandaids and you keep getting beaten up and I keep finding you in the bathroom help I'm actually starting to get attached."In which Gretchen had always been a human first aid kit, and some secrets Regina just doesn't need to know.





	secrets

**Author's Note:**

> me, writing fic at 3 am? it's more likely than you think.

It started in middle school, when all the girls could live in peace, before the infamous “Space Dyke” incident. Gretchen, ever-anxious as she was, always had a first-aid kit with her. Whether it be Regina with a hangnail, or Karen with a scissor mishap, she was there in a snap to stick a band-aid on it.

The same thing went for Janis, too, only softer, more caring. If it was a paper cut, or a scraped knee from gym class, Gretchen was across the room in an instant to help out. Every time, regardless of the severity, the rundown was the same. She'd ask a million times if she was okay, and after Janis explained a million and one times that she was, Gretchen would gingerly place the band-aid over her wound, and pat it with a gentle smile.

That softness expanded beyond physical ailments, as well. She would always make sure Janis was invited to to sleepovers, or mall trips, or excursions to the movie theater. If Janis was having trouble with homework, or needed a study partner, Gretchen was the first to volunteer. She was also always the first to ask why Janis was absent. In hindsight, that could have been part of the reason that Regina did what she did. That thought often crossed Gretchen's mind, maybe Regina was jealous... Or maybe that was her mind's way of shouldering the blame so that her image of Regina remained untarnished.

* * *

Then Regina told the whole school that Janis was some hideous, predatory lesbian. In a matter of minutes the whole school turned their backs on her. Somebody crudely carved a harsh slur into the metal of her locker, and everybody stood by. They waited and watched Janis approach her locker, and laughed, pointed and teased. From the crowd, somebody got bold, and shoved her to the ground. Her eyes threatened to spill tears as she gathered her things and rushed into the bathroom. Her mind was filled with shame, fear, anger, and a thousand other emotions. She slid to the ground, burying her head in her knees and let herself cry.

The creak of the door interrupted her thoughts. _"Your knee is bleeding. Are you okay?"_

A soft, familiar voice caused Janis to jump. She slowly lifted her head and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her oversized jacket. For the first time, there was no laughter at her friend's concern, only a shaky inhale and the shake of her head. Their eyes locked, and Janis could see genuine concern. Part of her wanted to ask why she was here, why she cared, if she was afraid of Regina finding out, but she said nothing. Gretchen kneeled in front her, genuine and soft and all her questions disappeared. 

A tissue that appeared to come from nowhere was used to wipe the tears from her eyes, and a bright pink band-aid covered the scrape on her knee. Janis feels a pair of arms around her, and her sobs started again. Her attempts to speak were silenced by reassuring whispers, and a hand smoothing her hair down. Gretchen kept her in her embrace until she was calm enough to call her mom and get taken home. 

After than, Regina told Gretchen that she was never supposed to speak to Janis again. Gretchen nodded, but knew that if she had any choice, Janis would be her friend, even if it had to be secret. She sent dozens of texts to Janis, who informed her that she was taking a break from her phone, for her own good.

* * *

That break turned into days, then months, then years. In that time Regina found out about Janis' art therapy, and took every chance she could to make a disparaging comment. Eventually, Gretchen got to the point where she could hide the way she cringed at Regina's cruelty toward a person who _was_ their friend. She made herself change into something that Regina deemed acceptable, but there was always a part of her mind that wanted to know if Janis was okay.

And when Janis walks in on the first day of high school, looking like an off-brand Taylor Momsen, it was safe to say a majority of the school was shocked. Regina instantly went back to her ways of dragging Janis, and Gretchen had to keep her mouth shut to keep her social standing. Within two weeks, Janis had found her niche in the art room, and with Damian at the lunch. Regina said that it made sense that the only gay people are best friends. 

One day, as if all the stars aligned, Gretchen found herself in the bathroom with Janis, just like old times. Janis was washing her hands, the water running pink into the drain. 

“Are you bleeding? Are you okay?” 

Janis jumped, turning her head to Gretchen. “Oh, no. It’s just paint,” she lifted her hands up to make it clear she wasn’t injured before turning off the sink. “So, yeah. All clear here.”

They both looked tense, unsure of what to do next. Janis shifted her weight from side to side, and Gretchen was suddenly fascinated with her nail beds. Janis started to move toward the door, but Gretchen stopped her with yet another question. 

“But like, are you _okay_? ‘Cause I mean Regin did some really bad stuff to you and you totally disappeared and never spoke to me and then you come back and you’re all punk and cool...” She trailed off, and looked Janis in the eyes, hoping for an answer. 

“Oh.” Janis held the eye contact for a split second before she dropped her eyes to the floor. “Basically, my parents made me go to art therapy because of all the shit with Regina. You already know that because she figures out everything. I did that for a while but now I’m back, and it appears she is determined to make my life hell again.” She shrugged, and lifted her eyes again. 

“And I don’t know why I’m telling you this, because you and Karen are still her lackeys. But, yeah. That’s what you missed,” Janis added while scuffing a boot on the ground. 

“Oh.” Gretchen frowned and fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. “I’m not going to tell her anything. You probably think it’s because I’m afraid of what she’d do if she found out and that’s true, I am worried about that, but, I’m also glad you’re back and that you’re okay.”

”Uh, cool. Thanks.” And just like that, Janis had given Gretchen’s shoulder a solid pat, and she was gone.

* * *

The next time they met in the grimy restroom, Janis actually had a scratch. Her art teacher insisted that she try wire sculpting (Janis made it clear that it wasn’t a good idea, but he gave her no choice) and she snagged her finger on a rough edge. Gretchen had her hand on the door when Janis walked in. As soon  as she saw who was on the other side of the door, her eyes scanned Janis for injury on instinct.

"Right here, doc," Janis said, wiggling her finger before skirted her way around Gretchen and washed her hands, reassuring her The Plastic that she was okay.. As if by a miracle, Gretchen had a band-aid out and was patiently waiting for the other girl to when she turned. She carefully took hold of Janis' wrist, rotating it to get the bandage around her finger. Both girls had their eyes trained on the contact they shared, neither daring to look the other in the eyes. Gretchen patted Janis' hand twice, signifying that she was done being patched up. 

"Thanks, dude." The sentence was punctuated by two thumbs up.

They made eye contact for a brief second before Gretchen smiled softly and pranced out of the bathroom, muttering a _"You're welcome"_ over her shoulder.

* * *

Major meeting number three happened during a lunch period, meaning Gretchen witnessed the cause of Janis's injury. Damian had chased her into the cafeteria, and from what Gretchen heard, he had been threatening to tickle her. Janis was running, laughing obnoxiously loud with Damian hot on her heels. She drew her elbow back as she ran, and it slammed into Damian's watch, which shattered on impact. They both looked equally shocked as they inspected the scene. Janis lifted her arm and peered at her elbow, which was bleeding more than one would think an elbow could or should. Damian shook his head as his best friend disappeared into the hallway. 

Regina made a snide remark, as per usual, and Gretchen waited a minute or two before rising, announcing that _"Jason totally just texted me and I'm gonna go set him straight because I'm, like, so tired of him"_ and making her way to the bathroom nearest the cafeteria, assuming that's where Janis would be.

"I thought you were never gonna show up." Janis grinned with a wet paper towel pressed to her arm. "And before you ask, I'm one-hundred percent fine, and I made sure that there's glass or whatever in it."

Gretchen opened her mouth to ask, and Janis shook her head and chuckled, not at all surprised. "You said you're okay, but, are you sure you're okay?"

"I am okay. I just need _somebody_ to stick a band-aid or two on my boo-boo." Janis was teasingly pouting, holding her arm out to Gretchen, who was digging through her purse for her first-aid kit. She procured a bandage big enough to go over the cuts, doing the routine of two pats upon application. "How'd you get away from Regina?" Janis asked as she rolled her sleeve down and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"Oh," Gretchen adjusted her purse strap before continuing, "I told her that Jason was being annoying and that I was gonna go handle him."

At the mention of Jason, a frown crossed Janis' face. She quickly replaced it with a look of indifference. She didn't have a role in Gretchen's life, so her distaste with the people that she chose to associate with was none of her business. But she knew that Gretchen could do so much better. She fiddled with the hem of the jacket, and tugged off a stray thread she had found. "Cool. He's a sleaze, by the way. Most dudes are, but," Janis shrugged, "It's your life." She made her way to the door, and waved over her shoulder. "But, if you need to talk, _for real_ about stuff, I'm here. I guess."

Gretchen ignored the butterflies that fluttered inside her for a brief second.

* * *

No more big events happened between the two in the time that passed between the watch incident and when Cady basically ruined the life she had made for herself. There had been sly waves, smiles, and brief eye contact, but nothing more than that. Both girls forced themselves to be oblivious to what they felt, on account of Regina. 

When Mr. Duvall called all junior girls into the room, and Mrs. Norbury came up with the apology workshop, Janis knew she had to own up to her revenge plan. She spilled about how Cady, Damian, and herself all wrecked Regina, and tore her friendships apart. She caught Gretchen's eyes for a split second, and knew that she needed an apology as well, but she stuck true to her original plan, and apologized to herself, making her arguably the biggest feminist icon at Northshore. As soon as the impromtu assembly was over, she tried to find Gretchen, but had no luck.

Then within the hour, one of Gretchen's only "friends" got hit by a bus, and died. For fifteen seconds, but still, dead is dead. So, collectively,  in that one day, it was like Gretchen lost three friends. Cady was a spy, Janis was a liar, and Regina died (for fifteen seconds). She spent that night at Karen's house, crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. She explained the whole thing to Karen, who reassured her that it would be _"Totally alien emoji, bee emoji, brain emoji, sun glass emoji!"_ Gretchen had no clue what that meant, but the sentiment was nice.

* * *

 

Cady got suspended, Regina was in a spinal halo, Karen was still a sweetheart, and she hadn't spoken a word to Janis. That was the situation Gretchen found herself in as she entered the gym for the Spring Fling. She stayed beside Karen and Regina all night, and every once in a while she took the risk of glancing at Damian and Janis, who appeared to be living it up and doing the same three dances to every song. They made the announcement for Spring Fling queen and king nominees to come on stage, and The Plastics (Were they really still plastic? With the exception of Karen, they were all damaged, and their hard exteriors had cracked...) made their way to the stage. Shane Oman gets the crown for king, and much to everybody's surprise, Cady took the spot of Queen. She made her way through the crowd, and made her deep, heartfelt speech. Gretchen felt a pair of eyes trained on her the whole time. 

As soon as Cady was done telling the whole school how amazing they were, and Aaron swept her into his arms, Gretchen made her way out of the gym quietly. She bought new shoes for the dance, and if she was honest, her feet were killing her. She took a seat on a bench outside the gym and unceremoniously yanked her heels off with a satisfied sigh. 

"You know, they make shoes that don't lift you three feet off the ground..."

Gretchen jumped, lifting her eyes to meet Janis'. She nodded her head to the space next to her as an invitation to sit.

Janis inhaled deeply and sat next to Gretchen, drying her sweaty palms on her skirt. "I really owe you an apology. I've been through the shit with Regina and I know how funky it can make your brain. I took advantage of you and Caddy and it was a dick move." Her voice wavered. She never really showed emotion like this, and it was hard. Especially when the streetlamps shone through the window and made Gretchen's face basically glow. 

"And after that assembly, I tried to find you and tell you all this because you deserve so much more than what me, and Cady, and Regina did to you."

_Another deep inhale._

"It totally might be some Pavlovian thing because basically my whole life you've been associated with like, healing or some shit like that, but I feel like I have feelings for you and it sucks major ass because I had a major part in ruining your life."

Gretchen felt Janis go tense beside her, and by habit placed a hand on her thigh as reassurance, like she did with Karen, or Regina, or Cady. Janis stiffened more, but relaxed as the dark-haired girl spoke.

"I..." Gretchen trailed off, ran her spare hand through her hair and started again. "Janis, I get why you did what you did. It's inevitable that me and Regina would have fought, or fell apart, or something like that. It did, uh, suck major ass, but that's life." She found herself on her feet, and she paced back and forth as she spoke.

"You were the only person, other than Karen, I guess that actually had a sincere cause for being my friend, but I hardly understand what Karen is talking about half the time, and it meant a lot even if we only ever spoke a few times and then any other interaction we had was stupid little glances from across the cafeteria, it was nice to know that somebody was actually there. So, I don't know if I have feelings or not, but I-" 

Gretchen stopped her rambling when Janis stood in front of her and took her hands.

"Calm down, you're gonna make me motion sick if you keep pacing," Janis said, her voice soft. "How about we spend the rest of tonight catching up with old friends, and then tomorrow you let me take you to coffee?"

"That would be great!" Gretchen had all but jumped up and down on the spot.

Janis playfully ruffled Gretchen's hair, matching the excitement the girl felt with a glowing smile. "Rule number one of being around me: Great, good, and awesome aren't words I use. You meant to say _'That would be tits'_."

They shared a laugh, and returned to the gym together, and danced the night away, Art-Freaks and Plastics together, for the first time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeehaw
> 
> also the thing with the watch happened to me irl and i stg it was wild


End file.
